solange/jay-z/beyonce scandal name ideas

This is a list of all the names that I can think of to name the newest, best scandal of the year, maybe even the decade.

#PUNCHDRUNKINLOVE2014

Who Run The World?
SOLANGE

Solange: Beautiful Nightmare 2014

Solange on Top

1+1… +1 = 2 people going at it while 1 person awkwardly stands in the elevator

99 Problems and Solange is one

99 Problems and Solange is like 50 of those problems

Solange Run This Town: Met Ball 2014 

The Blueprint for Murder

Eat the cake Mr. Jay

Dead Brother-in-Laws: part I

Stuff Billionaires Like

From the people who brought you “Stuff White People Like” comes the nation’s newest obsession, “Stuff Billionaires Like.” Be sure to tag your list with #SBL!! 

OWNING SPORTS TEAMS

OWNING NEWSPAPERS

OWNING YACHTS

INVESTING IN THINGS

ACQUIRING THINGS

FIRST WIVES WHO ARE AROUND THE SAME AGE AND BLONDE

ASIAN SECOND WIVES AT LEAST 30 YEARS YOUNGER

EASTERN EUROPEAN SUPERMODEL GIRLFRIENDS/THIRD WIVES (PREFERABLY 19 OR 20)

USING $100 AS TOILET PAPER

WHITE PEOPLE

Upcoming Lifetime (Movie Network) movie titles!

Too Young To Own A Blog

Out of the Kitchen: The Paula Deen Story **starring Kathy Bates as Paula Deen!**

White Oprah: The Dina Lohan Story **starring Lindsay Lohan as Dina Lohan!**

Peace, Love and A Pampered Chef Whisk

Soccer Mom Sex Party

A Grandma In Eighth Grade

Breaking the Cycle: My Candy Crush Addiction 

From Prom Queen to Porn Star

Do U C Me?: A Texting and Driving Tragedy

The lyrics to Taylor Swift’s “22” read exactly like the quotes on those images on tumblr that are pretty much just a picture of anonymous people’s shadows dancing in the moonlight or something with an overlay of text that a fifteen-year-old girl was ~inspired to write after her bf of two weeks broke up with her…

Is it just me or does it feel like one of those nights, you know, to dress up like hipsters. make fun of our exes. breakfast at midnight. to fall in love with strangers. we’re happy. free. confused. lonely. all at the same time. 

can we just take a moment and look at all of the products of pokemon fusions that have weepinbell in the first spot? it’s like the habsberg gene of pokemon.

I made this.

I made this.

If anyone ever asks me to give a commencement speech I think I’ll go up to the podium and look at the sea of eager graduates and declare, “If Britney can get through 2007, you can get through the rest of your life.” Then drop that mic and get outta that bitch.

"Perfect," Maureen thought as she stuffed the giant mangoes into her cami. She was finally the woman she had always hoped to be. 

TLC tv show ideas, part I

*THIS IS NOT EXPLOITATION, THIS IS EDUCATION*

This is legitimately how I feel every time I put on a maxi dress.

(Source: ameliadeew)

Art by me - fashion by kanye and mother nature
instagram.com/mealsonmealsonwheels

Art by me - fashion by kanye and mother nature

instagram.com/mealsonmealsonwheels

(Source: ameliadeew)

Your guide to passing as straight during the NFL draft

This is the definitive guide for all the young men out there who are preparing themselves to enter the 2013 NFL draft, April 25-27. From the Manti Teo scandal to the recent gay questioning at the combine, the NFL is really going out of its way to sniff out all the potential gays. So what I’ve done is gather all of the known facts that I’m going to assume mean you’re straight. 

1. Get yourself a hot girlfriend. This is obvious. Preferably a cheerleader from your respective school or a Miss USA contestant, which is so hot right now. Then take pictures of her in a bikini and anonymously submit to male gossip sites like Terez Owens or The Dirty (they don’t call them gossip sites but we all know they are).

2. Tattoos. What’s more manly than getting a tattoo? Not only is it really painful to get, but it you can make a permanent statement of your masculinity with straight guy symbols like the standard chinese character, tribal tattoo armband, and my favorite, the weird Jesus mugshot. Need an example? Let’s take Alabama QB AJ McCarron’s masterpiece:

Um yes, this is 100% real and 100% MANLY. AJ’s dickey (google dickey collar shirt) tattoo not only has a picture of a crying Jesus, but it also contains the phrase “Bama Boy.” 

3. Say things like “NO HOMO, BRO.” Don’t just say it once in a while, say it whenever another dude gets within 4 feet of you.

4. If somehow incriminating pictures or recorded tapes of you come up that pretty much show you admitting that you love the D, you’re going to have to come out… with your guns fully loaded. Take a cue from the straightest straight to have ever straighted: Chris Brown. The next time anyone in the media accuses you of being gay, yell in their face and tell them that they are the gay ones and throw a chair out of a glass window. The more violent the better, it’s gonna make you seem uber masculine. 

(Source: ameliadeew)