i made this when i was bored.
The Best of Kanye West, Part I
New York Times interview: "I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay-Z was allowed to become Jay-Z.”
Kanye West’s Twitter account: "Room service uuuuugh! I hate when I order fruit and I can taste the other food they cut with the same knife. Beef flavored pineapples."
NBC’s A Concert for Hurricane Relief: "George Bush doesn’t care about black people."
VH1 Storytellers: "God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."
Entertainment Weekly interview: "I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it."
"When I’m working, when I’m creating my gifts for the world, I want it to be good. I’m like the guy in The Aviator. They already made a movie about my life story.”
On his disappointing videos for ‘Heard ‘Em Say,’ "Man, I feel like I sent my gifted child to a bad school."
At a New York City listening party for his new album, Yeezus: "West was my slave name, Yeezus is my God name."
At the 2006 MTV Europe Music Awards: “If I don’t win, the award show loses credibility.”
The lyrics to Taylor Swift’s “22” read exactly like the quotes on those images on tumblr that are pretty much just a picture of anonymous people’s shadows dancing in the moonlight or something with an overlay of text that a fifteen-year-old girl was ~inspired to write after her bf of two weeks broke up with her…
Is it just me or does it feel like one of those nights, you know, to dress up like hipsters. make fun of our exes. breakfast at midnight. to fall in love with strangers. we’re happy. free. confused. lonely. all at the same time.
can we just take a moment and look at all of the products of pokemon fusions that have weepinbell in the first spot? it’s like the habsberg gene of pokemon.
"Perfect," Maureen thought as she stuffed the giant mangoes into her cami. She was finally the woman she had always hoped to be.
TLC tv show ideas, part I
- I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS FAT… I JUST ASSUMED I WAS PREGNANT -this show will be like ‘I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant,’ but instead of women finding out they’re with child, they’ll find out that they either ate child or have just become really fat. Men may also be included in this show as well.
- People say I look just like Beyonce -every week a new person will star in this series about people who think they look like Beyonce Knowles. It will be them talking about how much people always say they look like Beyonce, with interjections of their friends/family saying, ‘no, (insert name here) doesn’t look like Beyonce at all.’
- Boys with Visible Emotions -in this groundbreaking original series we will document the lives of really emotional, whiny men.
- Homeless Fat People (HFP) -this hour long docudrama will have viewers watching and experiencing life through the eyes of homeless fat people and how they manage to stay fat while also having no money to buy food.
- X-treme Little People (see: ‘Xtreme little ppl’) -from the channel that brought you ‘Little People, Big World’ and ‘The Little Couple,’ comes a new series involving little people doing extreme things, such as extreme sports. (We have changed the title to ‘X-treme’ to market to teens)
- Wait, people do that in Europe? -every week we’ll send over an American family to some weird destination in Europe and immerse them in the culture. For example, in our pilot episode, we send the McIntyre family to Amsterdam’s Red Light District -yep, Mr. and Mrs. McIntyre with their four children under the age of ten, from rural Wisconsin.
- Green Extreme -this show chronicles the life of people who take living on the grid to the extreme. We plan on documenting them while they drink their own pee.
*THIS IS NOT EXPLOITATION, THIS IS EDUCATION*
This is legitimately how I feel every time I put on a maxi dress.
Art by me - fashion by kanye and mother nature
Your guide to passing as straight during the NFL draft
1. Get yourself a hot girlfriend. This is obvious. Preferably a cheerleader from your respective school or a Miss USA contestant, which is so hot right now. Then take pictures of her in a bikini and anonymously submit to male gossip sites like Terez Owens or The Dirty (they don’t call them gossip sites but we all know they are).
2. Tattoos. What’s more manly than getting a tattoo? Not only is it really painful to get, but it you can make a permanent statement of your masculinity with straight guy symbols like the standard chinese character, tribal tattoo armband, and my favorite, the weird Jesus mugshot. Need an example? Let’s take Alabama QB AJ McCarron’s masterpiece:
Um yes, this is 100% real and 100% MANLY. AJ’s dickey (google dickey collar shirt) tattoo not only has a picture of a crying Jesus, but it also contains the phrase “Bama Boy.”
3. Say things like “NO HOMO, BRO.” Don’t just say it once in a while, say it whenever another dude gets within 4 feet of you.
4. If somehow incriminating pictures or recorded tapes of you come up that pretty much show you admitting that you love the D, you’re going to have to come out… with your guns fully loaded. Take a cue from the straightest straight to have ever straighted: Chris Brown. The next time anyone in the media accuses you of being gay, yell in their face and tell them that they are the gay ones and throw a chair out of a glass window. The more violent the better, it’s gonna make you seem uber masculine.
It’s pretty bad when Fox News has less-shitty journalism than you.